Then Now and Always- AU series Chapter 1 Part 2

[guavejuice]

Banner Made By bissa 666 with special thanks to Kathleen 7wildwaysup.


Author:guavejuice
Pairing:Brian/Justin
Timeline:AU
Beta:Kim predec2 Can't thank you enough!!!
Summary:
"If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?" ~RuPaul Charles
Justin's journey to self-acceptance and personal transition is long and winding. Will he learn to love himself as others love him?
A/N:I started writing this series back in December 2015 which officially makes it my first WIP. Please bare with me and wait patiently between updates.
Click Here for previous chapters
Disclaimer:I own nothing but this story.
Comments are love.


Chapter 1 Part 2

-A Few Days Later-

"Hi, Mom, It's me." I mustered up all the patience and courage I could when my mom answered on the other end of the line. After my session with Lindsay the other day, I thought I was ready to face her and my dad, but it still feels extremely uncomfortable, and I could feel my palms sweating and my heart racing.

"Hi, Darling; how are you?" my mom practically chirped. Her sickly sweet tone of voice was like nails on a blackboard. Her always-cheerful attitude for some reason always got on my nerves, too, as much as her belief that I was still the girly-girl she had always wanted – and still seemed to perceive me as. But the way she still continued to use the wrong pronouns when she spoke to me was affecting me even more, especially after I'd come to realize beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wasn't going to let anyone refer to me as 'she,' or call me by my given birth name, no matter what.

"I'm fine," I responded instinctively, even though I was anything but at the moment. I was anxious to get this awkward call over with, realizing there would more awkwardness to come once I dropped by to visit my parents in person. "I was thinking I might stop by later. It's been a while," I replied, gritting my teeth like I always did, since I knew as soon as I walked in the door, the 'shes' and 'hers' would be slipped into the conversation like so many raindrops in a lake.


As much as I resented my parents for all their ignorance and indifference towards me over the years – especially during my high school years at St. Mary's Private School for Girls – I had to think twice before I announced my decision to them. Despite the way they had treated me, I had a bit more decency towards how they would feel; a lot more than they had ever had for me. I didn't want to tell them about my transition over the phone.

"That would be lovely, Sweetheart," my mom gushed. "I'll fix you dinner," she offered.

"Oh no, don't bother," I quickly told her. I didn't want to be there any longer than absolutely necessary.

"It's no bother, really," she continued to press me.

I sighed inwardly. "No, Mom. No dinner. I just need to talk to you and Dad."

I could hear hesitation on the other end of the phone for a few seconds before my mom responded a little less cheerfully, "Well, okay; if that's what you prefer. We'll see you later then."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah. Sounds good. I should be there probably around 7 or 8. I'll see you then, Mom."

"Okay, Honey," she responded. I could hear the curiosity in her voice, but she had the good sense not to ask for any further details. "See you then."

As I hung up the phone, I let out a deep breath, knowing this was going to be only Step 1 with my parents. The hardest part would be coming later today.



-Later That Night, Taylor Residence-

My mom smiled at me from the couch directly across from me; I was sitting in one of our overstuffed chairs, steeling myself for what was about to come.

"It's so good to see you again, Justine," she told me, making me wince at the name she used. She frowned. "But… why did you cut your hair so short? I liked it much better when it came to below your shoulders." Her patronizing tone of voice was making me nauseous as I took a deep breath. This was it. It was now or never.

"It's Justin, Mom! Not Justine! Not anymore. I'm asking you to please not call me by that name ever again. And please refer to me by he, not she." I tried to be as calm and collected as I could, but my heart was beating a million miles an hour, and my hands trembled as I tucked them inside my denim jacket's pockets.

"What in the hell are you talking about?" My dad bellowed in disdain. Even though he didn't bother to even lower the newspaper that obscured his face, to me it was an obvious show of disrespect.

"Don't be so harsh on her, Craig," my mom scolded him quietly, trying to calm my dad down the only way she knew how. But the fact that she was ignoring what I had just said was almost worse than my father's attitude.

"I thought I just asked you NOT to refer to me like that!" I snapped, barely able to choke out my response. I quickly averted my eyes so she won't see my tears of frustration.

"Jus…" She started to reply, but then stopped, clutching her hands together in her lap. "Honey, look. You know your dad and I would do anything for you…"

I literally had to bite my tongue when she said to prevent a sneer from breaking out on my face as she continued. "Is there anything we can do to help you snap out of this? I mean…where did this feeling come from?" She sounded so convinced that it was treatable – like it was some medical disease that could be cured – that I literally couldn't stand it any longer.

"It didn't come from anywhere! It's who I AM. Can't you see that?" I lashed out.

"But you…you used to like boys," my mom pointed out. "I mean, what about that nice boy? The one you spent a lot of time with last summer while we were up at the lake cabin?" Mom seemed to be losing her tone of certainty, but her words still stung at my heart.

THAT boy, as she referred to him. Ha! If she only knew…If she only knew why I had been so drawn to that particular boy when we had first met him and his family on our annual vacation this past summer at the cabin…

TBC…

Comments

[techgirl-on-ij.livejournal.com]

YAY A new chapter! I'm sorry his parents aren't open minded enough to hear him out but I guess that was to be expected. Hopefully they'll come around later on.

Great update!

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much for taking the time to read and comment dear techi. Your supportive honest feedback means a lot to me :)

[rulisteningbj.livejournal.com]

Some how I thought I had commented when I read this before. I am very excited about this new fic. Can't wait to see where you go. Poor Justine, looks like the parents are in denial. Looking forward to more.

Dee Dee

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Hi Dee Dee So excited to hear from you :)
Thank you SO much for taking the time to read and comment. Your supportive feedback means a lot to me.
Take care
HUGS
V.

[tiger062.livejournal.com]

I was excited to see a new chapter but I confess I want more, more, more......LOL. I love that you've chosen Justin to explore transgender - my daughter has a friend who is genderqueer whose parents and family, thankfully, were supportive and my husband, who's a cop, has a transgender who works with him and his workplace is quite excepting (they even had to attend an anti-discrimination lecture)- it really is a much smaller world than we think. Cannon Craig had difficulty with Justin being gay so his attitude here isn't surprising. The next part of Justin's discussion is going to be a more than a shock for them - can't wait

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. This story means a lot to me. I truly appreciate your thoughtful supportive feedback.
More to come...

[yumyumpm.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is really getting interesting. Wait until he starts growing facial hair. Mom's really going to have a fit.

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much for talking the time to read and comment. This is definitely not going to be a smooth journey for Justin. Your supportive feedback means a lot.
More to come

♥

[hikinggirl70.livejournal.com]

This is so cool. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Re: ♥

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much for taking the time to follow this story. Your supportive feedback means a lot to me.
More to come...