Never Enough- B/J One Shot

[guavejuice]

Author:guavejuice
Pairing:Brian/Justin
Timeline:Season 2 Episode 2 gap filler
Brian's POV
A/N:This one's for you my dear Ali britinkinlor happy bday <3
Disclaimer:I own nothing
Comments are love.

What the fuck is SHE doing here?

It's as if I didn't have enough of that trick lecturing me earlier (wait, was I supposed to be impressed that the arrogant trick was familiar with such a master piece as Citizen Kane or insulted that he insinuated my reputation was highly overrated?... ) but now my young stalker's mother barges into MY loft just as the trick was leaving.

No, it wouldn't actually be fair to call HIM my stalker. Not anymore. Not when the image of him lying lifeless in his tux on the cold cement is haunting my thoughts at night. Not now. This determinant boy, crushed and damaged as he is, is struggling to get his life back on track and I can't seem to get that out of my system. No matter how much I try it keeps nagging me each and every waking hour.

Yet the timing is off.

Fuck! Let's face it, these days everything seems to be off.

I should be fucking lucky. I'm care free. The little brat is no longer here. I come and go as I please, I fuck around, I drink, I smoke myself to oblivion, so why the fuck should I care? But then I DO care. Because HE'S not here. I'm trying to forget but then his presence IS everywhere.

Justin's mom stares at me. She looks confused but not phased. Surprisingly enough my dick doesn't get soft, as it always does when women other than Mel and Linds and Deb are around. Usually when I stand fully naked in my loft I get straight to the point, no questions asked but this is not one of those cases, obviously. There's not an ounce of sexual tension - FUCK NO!- but I'm still pretty wired.

I can sense that Mrs. Taylor wants something from me but I can't quite figure out what it is because THIS is not a familiar territory for me. I stand before her in all my glory and she's just blinking slightly –pretty much like her 17 year old son did when I first saw him- she shrugs but then she puts on half a smile and steps inside my loft. She doesn't even flinch when she asks if she came at the wrong time and I tell her THEY both did, nodding at the trick who's about to leave. Fuck! I always thought Debbie was a gay man in previous life but now I'm not so sure mother Taylor wasn't one either. She looks around and tells me the place looks glamorous. GLAMOROUS? That's unusual. I turn around to go pick my jeans off the floor and she just stands there cool and collected, or so she wants me to think. I put an unlit cigarette in my mouth, telling her it does the trick but then she doesn't even smile.

It's not our first encounter. She first confronted me a few months back in my office when she dropped Justin's black duffle bag on my desk telling me that since I FUCKED him (she then corrected herself and said I seduced him or whatever the fuck ) it's now my responsibility, especially after his scam beg of a dad kicked him out and the boy has no place to stay. Like hell I would have taken a Seventeen years old in to LIVE with me. I mean… It's not as if we were lovers or anything. HE was just spending more nights than I could remember in my loft, in my bed… but it was NOTHING… I wasn't even prepared for that. I even told him so myself, just before I kissed him and made sure he was curled safely in my bed night after night.

After she brought Justin back from rehab Mrs.Taylor confronted me again. She told Justin and Daphne to get inside the house and I just stood there outside with her. She insisted I called her Jennifer but I still called her Mrs. Taylor. She then told me she knew. She knew I was there at the hospital every night. Damn night nurse. Why did she have to say anything? Who the fuck cares if I was there? Well… apparently Justin's mom cared because her voice broke when she stood there in her driveway in broad day light telling me she believed I CARED about Justin. FUCK! Why did I have to become all emotional all of a sudden and tell her that in the first place? It didn't matter one bit because she obviously felt I was the one who was responsible for Justin's bashing.

Okay, who am I kidding?

I wish I had someone to take care of me back when I was his age. Sure it was weird at first to think that mother Taylor wouldn't stand up to her jerk of a husband but if anyone knew about ass hole dads and cold hearted moms it would be ME. I guess that's why I caved and decided to take him in the first time anyway .
Well… maybe it was just part of the reason.

Maybe it was too much too soon?

But then he was… he just WAS and FUCK I loved it.

Now I'm standing here, picking my jeans off the floor while Justin's mom stares at me.

I swear I NEVER thought I'd be in that position. NEVER.

So she wants me to take him in? NOW? After she asked me not to see him again?

What the fuck is up with that? First this lady sees me naked with a trick and now she pleads me to take her son?

FUCK! I feel I need to raid the fridge. I go over there and SHE follows me. Fuck! Now I know where Justin gets his persistence from. She watches intently as I slice an Avocado, opens a few cans and jars and pile everything absently on a slice of fucking WHITE bread. She must think I've gone mad and she's not the only one.

So she wants me to fuck him? I look up from my kitchen island to stare at her.

She wants me to TOUCH him. FUCK!!! She wants ME to help HIM be touched.

I swallow hard and for some reason I feel I miss that boy like crazy. I'm not answering her.

Yet.

I look away and stand there in silence for a long minute.

What do I say to that? I mean… I can't just ask ever so casually if I should stop by the house to pick him up. THIS isn't a sleep over or a boy scout day trip. It's a whole different ball game.

And besides, how will Justin react if his mother would suddenly have a change of heart? He knows his mom is not my biggest fan. He himself once told me she doesn't totally hate me. BUT that was then…

Now she asks me not to tell him anything about her visiting me here. The hell I won't. I can just see Justin's face lighting up with a distinctive smirk once he knew his mom saw ME standing there with my dick in my hand (well… not quite but only just ) So I won't tell him, not just yet.

So does that mean I'll take him?

I stare at her now, my sandwich- which I never intended to eat anyway- is forgotten on the counter.

Guess I will.

She eventually smiles at me but I can definitely see the pain and gratitude in her eyes. For a split second I sense as though my own emotions are reflected in her eyes. I shrug them off but I know they're still there. She then flashes a hint of that beautiful smile and reaches out to squeeze my hand as if to make sure her secret is safe with me, and vice versa. I nod back as I walk her to the door.

Sunshine doesn't know how lucky he is.

Well… maybe he does.

It's never enough but we'll take it easy.

Like the first time.

************************

Comments

[mrs-koki.livejournal.com]

Ya know, I can imagine Brian thinking that exact way during the scene when Jen asks Brian to take her son.

Nice gap filler,hun XD

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much for your super supportive warm feedback. It means a lot to me. SO pleased to know you enjoyed it :)

[mrs-koki.livejournal.com]

You're welcome :)

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

:)

[bksbracelet.livejournal.com]

That is totally how Gale portrayed that scene to me, he demonstrated Brian's vulnerability he was totally gobsmacked by the whole thing, even though he wanted to say get the fuck out!

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Aww... Thank you SO much for your honest supportive feedback dear Chris. It means SO much to me. I'm thrilled to know you enjoyed it :)
*hugs*

[shadownyc.livejournal.com]

Great introspective gapfiller.

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Oh wow...
Thank you SO much for your ongoing encouragement and supportive feedback as always my dear Car. It really means so much to me.
I'm thrilled to know you enjoyed it :)
*hugs you tight*

[7wildwaysup.livejournal.com]

This conversation was hard for both Brian and Jennifer. Having to admit that they might have to change their attitudes to help Justin heal... Finally accepting each other into their lives... Justin "You so love me!"

Hugs Darling ~ Kathleen ♥♥♥

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much for your kind words and super supportive feedback, darling. It means a lot to me. This was def a difficult time for all, no doubt about that but for Brian it meant facing his own fears as far as getting emotionally attached to one person...
So thrilled to know you enjoyed it :)
*hugs*

[har2.livejournal.com]

So good. You filled in all of those missing feelings and words from the actual scene. I love it.

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much for your heartfelt supportive feedback. It means so much to me. So thrilled to know you enjoyed it :)

[yumyumpm.livejournal.com]

You caught the mood right on.

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Aww... thank you SO much for your thoughtful supportive feedback. It means a lot to me.
So thrilled to know you enjoyed it :)

[blossomlegs.livejournal.com]

Beautifully written, so very Brian. Thanks for sharing!

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much for your beautiful supportive feedback. I really appreciate it. So thrilled to know you enjoyed it :)

[britinkinlor.livejournal.com]

Dear Vered, thank you sooo much for my story. It's great!!

Hugs & love,

Ali x

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Aww... I'm SOOO pleased to know you enjoyed this one on your special day my dear Ali <3
Thank you for taking the time to read and leave such a heartfelt supportive feedback. It means a lot :)
*hugs back*

[hikinggirl70.livejournal.com]

That was great!

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much for taking the time to read and leave such a supportive feedback. It means a lot. So thrilled to know you enjoyed this :)

[techgirl-on-ij.livejournal.com]

So sweet, sad and filled with hope. I always enjoy a peek into Brian's head.

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Aww... thank you SO much for taking the time to read this and leave such a heartfelt supportive feedback my dear techi :) You know it means so much to me. HE looks so hot in this scene, esp when he's standing there naked but then he's baring a lot more then just his amazing body here which makes it even more appealing *sigh*
So thrilled to know you enjoyed this <3
*hugs you tight*