More Than Good Friends- a bday one Shot for my friend pet0511

[guavejuice]

Author:guavejuice
Pairing:Brian/Justin
Timeline:Post 513
Molly's Pov
A/N:This one's for you my dear Pet. I hope you enjoy that despite the slight angst.
Disclaimer:I own nothing.
Comments are love.

Dear Justin...

Hey, isn't the title a bit too formal ? I mean… I'm your little sister and you would think I wouldn't need that introduction, right? yet I feel I should really use that line, because you are dear to me.

It's been a while since we spoke which is why I feel I have to write this email to you. After all I'm not a kid anymore. I'm about to turn twenty one next month… and... well today is YOUR birthday. YOU'RE thirty one.

I know we haven't been close when we were kids. You used to think I'm just an annoying little brat.

We didn't spend that much time together but I do remember that day you left.
They never spoke about it, not in front of me anyway.

You were a senior in high school and I was a kid but when your name was mentioned it was always as if someone said a forbidden word.

Not long after that I remember hearing another name emerging- THATBrian.

I never told you that in person but I might as well let you know now that when I first heard mom say that it sounded so foreign and weird that I wasn't even sure what she meant.
Then one day when she set in the living room in silence, clutching the phone in her hand I reached out to her and asked her what's THATBrian meant.

She sniffed her nose, shrugged her shoulders and didn't answer . I looked at her and asked when will YOU come back home. I remember how she literally almost folded her shoulders inward while her face had gone pale. I do remember she told me that everything would be okay but even as a seven year old I had that looming notion that it might not be so.

Maybe it was, for just an hour or so when you eventually did come back a few weeks later. You walked into the living room where mom and dad set. You were wearing your high school uniform and you stood there with a tall man standing next to you. I didn't hear much of that conversation because they made me leave and go up to my room but I remember you asking mom why she kept saying THATBrian and that HIS name's Brian. I assumed that was the tall man you came in with but I wasn't sure. I couldn't figure out why he came to the house with you. I thought he was one of your teachers or someone from school but then I remember thinking he looked more like a prince charming from my favorite Disney movie than a school teacher. Also he smelled kind of weird but I thought it was cool. School teachers definitely didn't smell like that.

I never saw much of the elusive THATBrian after that night but then come to think of it I actually never saw much of you either. It was fun at first because I could snag all the cool stuff from your room but then after a while it became weirder especially after dad locked the door to your room and told me to stay away.

Looking back now I don't know how I kept on going like that. I mean… you were there ALL the time ever since I was born and now you went away just like that and mom and dad didn't even do anything to try and bring you back home like they did in the movies when some kid would run away? It wasn't right. it wasn't how it was supposed to be.

All this time I kept running into Daphne –our neighbor- which I knew was your best friend and went to school with you but I never asked her anything because I thought she would just laugh in my face and wouldn't even want to talk with me since I was ten years younger than her. The only time Daphne actually spoke to me was when she saw the balloons on the mail box and asked me if it was my birthday. That day you suddenly came back for a brief visit. You came back for my birthday party and brought me a drawing. It was a drawing of me. Back when I was seven years old it didn't mean much to me and I couldn't fully appreciate it but I could tell it meant a lot to mom. I remember the sadness in her eyes when she asked you if you're staying and you said no. I was too young to understand but not too young to notice. Then after you left without looking back mom smiled again and said we should cut the cake and open the presents but later when dad walked downstairs from his den I could sense even more tension.

The only other time you came back you were alone. I remember that because mom had just parked the car after driving me back from dance class. I was just about to get back into the house when I heard YOU tell her you got accepted to some school. You and mom probably didn't notice that but I heard you talking and I saw your faces. I felt it's not a cheerful conversation even though I couldn't quite understand what 'divorce' meant.

I learned what it meant the hard way, I guess, when not long after that dad moved out and mom had to sell the house. OUR house. Mom and I moved to another place down the road. I probably never told you that before Justin, and I don't know if you ever thought about it but having to move into a new home while you and dad were not around was so difficult and so scary that I really don't know how we pulled it through.

The only thing mom told me at that point is that you were staying at a 'friend'. It felt weird to me because back then when I was staying at a friend's house it was for a sleep over on a weekend. I couldn't understand why you're not coming back.

THEN one day you did came back. You were SO different when you came back and I didn't know if it was because I haven't seen you in a long time or if it was because you didn't want to be there in our new house. You looked thin and scared BUT the truth is I was afraid of you. You screamed at night and then you wouldn't speak with us the whole day. You kept talking about THATBrian only you simply called him Brian.

The next day when I came back from school and looked outside my bedroom window I saw a cool black jeep parked around the curb. Then I saw YOU, Daphne and the tall man sitting outside. He was tossing a tennis ball towards you. I couldn't exactly hear WHAT you and that man were saying but I could feel how soft and sweet the man's voice was when he spoke with you and I liked him already. I was happy for you that he was your friend. I knew right there that this must be THE Brian. I wanted to rush downstairs and hug you and tell you how much I've missed you but then mom's car pulled into the drive way and she stopped by to speak with you. I closed my bedroom window and pulled the curtains down because I didn't want her to see me but then I heard yours and Daphne's voices when you went upstairs and I didn't want to bother you. I remember standing on my tip toes to glance through the window one more time but then I saw the black jeep driving away.

That afternoon you screamed even louder at mom and you pushed her down and bashed your head against the wall. Mom told me to go back to my room which I did even though I wanted to stay and make sure you were okay. Quite a daunting task for a seven years old.

Later that night mom hugged me and told me you were acting strange because you were involved in some accident a few weeks back and that you were still hurt but then you were going to stay at your friend's house again and that HE will help you.

I don't remember what happen after that but mom told me you went away to art school in Pittsburgh which I thought was really cool. I was proud of you even though I barely spoke with you. I remember asking mom to buy a nice frame for the drawing you made for my 7th birthday and when she did I kept that drawing on the little nightstand beside my bed for a long time. I even took it with me for when I had to go spend the weekend's at dad's place. I felt it made the time there go by much faster.

When I was about to start high school myself I remember dad asking me if I would like to move in with him and if I would like to attend St.James academy . I can clearly remember the sharp tone of his voice when he mentioned you went there as well. That was about the only time I remember him mentioning your name. I refused him and told him mom and I decided I should attend another high school that was closer to where we lived.

Each time I went to school I kept hoping I might see you or Brian but I never did.

I don't know why we grew apart Justin. I hope you know it wasn't my choice or something I did wholeheartedly. I know who you are, Justin. I know you're a gay man and I'm proud of you. I don't know why you never told me so yourself. I know that mom attended a gay pride march with you a few years back because she told me so herself. I want you to know that when one of my class mates in senior year in high school took a folded comic book out of his back pack and showed it to me one day during lunch break I couldn't be more proud when I saw your name on the cover. I knew right away that this comic book gay hero Rage was your idea and I smiled to myself as that drawing reminded me right away of THAT Brian.

It's funny you know, that after I graduated from high school I got accepted to NYU for their art program and that when I moved to New York City and found an apartment it turned out we live only a few blocks away from each other. I didn't know it was the same neighborhood you lived in since you arrived there a few years before me.

And then… you finally called the other day. You called me and asked me if I'd like to join you for pizza down the street that evening. I was SO thrilled I even forgot to ask you how you got my phone number. When you showed up at that pizza place with Brian by your side I was beyond excited. It's funny that I've known THISBrian ever since I was seven and YOU were seventeen but we –Brian and I- never really met in person.

We had a lovely evening together didn't we? You laughed and told me Brian sacrificed a lot to be there because he doesn't eat carbs after seven p.m. Then we chatted some more because we did have a lot to catch up on.

I definitely didn't expect to hear YOU say you've decided to go back to Pittsburgh and move in with Brian.
I don't think I've ever seen you so happy. I laughed and told YOU that it's not fair you're leaving again just when I'm arriving here.

You literally beamed when you told me you've decided to leave New York because Brian bought a country house just outside west Virginia and that I am most welcome to stay there when ever I like once you'd settle down.
Brian laughed as well when I grabbed the red wine glass from the table. He asked me if I'm not too young to drink, remember? You actually winked at me and as you turned to Brian you told him I was NEVER too young to notice certain things.

Brian smiled back and you both seemed so eager to kiss that I smiled to myself again and told you it's okay and that you can go ahead and go for it.

And THEN you told me why you really asked me to join you for dinner that night.

I was SO thrilled for you. You and Brian are getting married and I was the first person you chose to share the news with. It's a few months away but you're having a spring wedding at YOUR home in the country! Lucky you!! And it's going to be legal and all that. And MOM will be there and maybe even dad. That is if I would be able to convince him. After all I'm your little sister, right?

So… there. I guess it's the longest happy birthday email anyone has ever written but I hope you don't mind.
And I hope you know I love you no matter what.
Okay, it's late and I gotta go pack now. Don't forget to pick me up from the station when I arrive.
Talk to you tomorrow, k?


p.s
Give my love to THAT Brian and his cute son Gus. Can't believe he's thirteen now. Can't wait to finally meet HIM.

Xoxo

Molly

Comments

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your touching supportive feedback. I really appreciate it. So pleased you enjoyed this :)