Baby I Can Feel Your Halo- B/J AU series Part 3/8

[guavejuice]

Banner by Vonnie yvonnereid

Author:guavejuice
Pairing:Brian/Justin
Beta:Kim predec2 I can't thank you enough!
A/N:This is NOT a WIP
Click HERE for previous chapters.
Disclaimer:I own nothing but this story
Comments are love.




Part 3

- A few days later, Baldwin High School -

"Brian, could I see you in my office?" A tall, blond, soft spoken woman asks as Brian steps out of his classroom just before lunch break.

"Sure, Lindsay. In fact, I was just on my way to see you," Brian answers, following Lindsay Peterson, the school counselor, down the corridor.

"I'm glad you were,” Lindsay says as they enter her office. "Because there's someone I need to discuss with you." She closes the door behind her and offers Brian a seat. As Brian folds his long legs onto the chair, she sits down behind her desk and leans forward. "It’s about one of your tenth graders, a girl that recently enrolled here from an out-of-state school. Her name is…" Lindsay pauses to scroll through her computer file on the screen, searching for a specific name, but she soon finds out there is no need.
"Jennifer… Jennifer Chanders," Brian finishes the sentence right away.

Lindsay peers up at him in surprise. "Oh, so you already noticed her?" She asks. "I should have guessed you would by now, seeing that you're one of our best teachers here and always on top of your game when it comes to these kids," she tells him with a slight smile.

“Well, I was one of those troubled kids once,” Brian reminds her as she nods; she and Brian have known each other since college, and from what he has told her, she knows he had not had an easy life as a kid. But that only made him more in tune with the ones he taught who might be experiencing a similar rough time. He leans back in his chair and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You might say I noticed her absence more than her appearance in my class, " he explains after a short pause. “Since school started four weeks ago, she's been MIA almost 75% of the time. She's skipped my classes more than she has been attending them.”

Lindsay furrows her brow in concern. "Do we know anything about her life here? According to her registration file, she lived with her mother in Chicago before they moved here, but there isn't any other information.”

"I have no idea other than what you just told me. I tried to get her to talk the first few times she was late to my class, but she was very reluctant to tell me much about herself. She did mention me that she loves math and science, and I could tell she’s interested in art, since she was drawing something when I saw her in the yard. But that was almost two weeks ago, and she keeps slipping away from us,” Brian answers.

"This is really frustrating, but we can’t lose hope,” Lindsay replies. "Isn't that what we're always trying to instill in our students – optimism and determination?" Her voice softens.

"That's what Justin said the other night," Brian reveals, his voice instinctively lowering an octave as he mentions his partner's name.

"Oh, so I'm not the only one who's taking their work home with them, I see,” Lindsay responds with a knowing smile.

Brian shifts a little uncomfortably; sometimes his friend knows him far too well. "Well… you know, we do work together. We try not to take our work home with us – or our concerns – but it’s not always that easy,” he admits.

"I know," Lindsay nods with a slight smile. "So what should we do about this girl? We can't give up on her already," she states, steering the conversation back to the topic. She bit her lip in thought for a few moments before an idea came to her. "Wait! Maybe there is something Justin could do! You mentioned the girl is really interested in art, so maybe she might open up more for him? He could hopefully make her realize that we only want what’s best for her,” Lindsay suggests.

"I'd like to believe it's possible," Brian answers. "But when I asked Justin if the girl was attending his class regularly, he said he didn’t recall anyone that fit the description I gave him. He couldn’t remember anyone like her being there, not even from the first day.”

"Well, there's only one thing left to do, I'm afraid," Lindsay concludes. "We must contact Children’s Services and report it to them as soon as possible. She's still a minor, and it's our responsibility to do what’s right. She’s been here almost a month, and we can’t allow her to slip up any longer. But I think first we must pay her a house call. I’ll contact her mother right away." Lindsay sounds determined as she scrolls through her file to locate the telephone number and picks up the receiver to call.

Brian peers over at his friend – curious to hear more about this enigmatic girl – as Lindsay waits for the person on the other end of the line to take the call.

"Hello?” Lindsay finally says after several seconds. "Is this Daphne Chanders, Jennifer's mom? I’m Lindsay Peterson, her school counselor and I've got Mr. Brian Kinney, our Head of the Science Department, here with me. We both have some concerns regarding your daughter’s attendance record here at school, and we’d like to arrange a meeting with you to discuss this issue. We’d prefer to discuss this in person. May we come there to speak with you?” Lindsay glances over at Brian as she awaits Jennifer's mom's answer. Informing a parent that their child is not living up to their expectations is never an easy task, but Lindsay has been counseling students long enough to know when there is more to a situation than meets the eye, and she suspects that is the case here. “What would be a convenient time for you to meet with us?”

After a few seconds, Brian observes his friend nodding as she replies, “Yes, that will be fine. We'll be there this afternoon," she verifies as she looks over at Brian, who nods in agreement.

_ _ _ _

-Later that day-

"Have you been to this part of town lately?" Lindsay asks as Brian guides the car through one of the rougher parts of town, searching for the address listed on Jennifer’s student record at school.

"It’s been a while," Brian responds grimly. “ I try not to come here anymore than I have to. I’m more familiar with this part of the Pitts than I care to be.”

" I know,” Lindsay tells him softly. She doesn’t know a lot about Brian’s early years, but she knows enough from what he’s told her that it was not a pleasant time for him. She squints her eyes, searching for the right number before nodding. “I think this is it,” she tells him as Brian nods back at her. They peer up at the small, older wooden home with its peeling paint; a couple of flower boxes with mums adorn the porch, adding a bit of cheer to the place, and it appears neatly kept enough. But the overall effect is still somewhat depressing.

As Brian shuts off the motor of the vehicle now parked at the curb, Lindsay peers over at him and smiles, thinking about what her friend had said earlier. “You’re a lucky man, Brian. You know that?”

Brian smirks at her. “Yes, I am,” he tells her as Lindsay grins over at him and rolls her eyes. “But why do YOU think so?”

She explains, “Because you have such an amazing partner by your side…and you not only live with him, but you get to see him every day at school.”

Brian smiles at the thought, wondering why Lindsay was bringing that up right now, but unable to disagree with her. “Yeah,” he replies softly. “Damn lucky. And I think about that every fucking day.” He gazes up at the house in front of them, thinking how much it reminded him of his own home when he was younger. How things had changed for him in so many ways! But the best part of all was the day he met Justin.

As they exit the car, Brian shivers slightly in reaction to the early afternoon chill in the air. He knows from experience that soon many of the occupants of these homes in this neighborhood will be struggling to stay warm, and the thought makes him sad. “Let’s go see what we can find out about Ms. Chanders,” he suggests to Lindsay as they walk up the slightly crumbling steps leading to the home.

_ _ _ _ _


The two of them walk up the steps as Lindsay knocks on the door. "Mrs. Chanders?" Lindsay calls out. A few moments later, a slender young-looking women opens the door. She's dressed in a long-sleeved pink top and grey sweat pants. Her slippers look like two giant bunny rabbits. Her curly hair widely frames her face as she lets out a small smile. "Daphne, please," she responds as she opens the door to allow them entrance. There's some loud grunge rock music playing in the background as the young woman leads them towards a small living room and apologizes for the mess. "Please, sit down," she urges them as Brian and Lindsay take their place on a worn but clean sofa, decorated with a flower print reminiscent of something out of the sixties. "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Soft drink? I even have some peach yogurt around somewhere,” she adds unexpectedly, shuffling towards the sound system to turn the volume down.

"No, thank you," Lindsay tells her as Brian shakes his head to indicate he doesn’t need anything, either. He takes a look around the somewhat cramped living room, thinking this petite woman looks more like she could be Jennifer’s older sister, rather than the mother of a fifteen-year-old girl. In fact, he can't help but think of Justin just now, and how young his partner had looked when they had first met 15 years ago when he and the gang had spent an evening at Woody's, their local gay bar. A lot had changed in their lives since then. But as he peered over at the nervous-looking young woman seated in a used recliner next to them, he realizes that even today some people who are barely adults still have to accept great responsibility.
Lindsay clears her throat as Brian refocuses on the present – sitting in a cramped living room with the young mother of one of his most troubled students.

"So umm… Daphne, could you please tell us a bit more about Jennifer? She seems to be struggling with her school work, and frequently seems…lost. It doesn't help that she's been absent several days so far, also.”

“From what I have determined so far, your daughter appears to be very bright. I know she mentioned to me that she is interested in math and science, as well as art. She told me so one day when I had a chance to talk to her privately,” Brian informs her as Daphne nods, unsurprised.

"Well… she got the science part from me; there's no doubt about that. The interest in art must have come from her father, though. He was an excellent artist,” she explains, her voice softening in recollection.

"Could you… tell us more about Jennifer's father?" Lindsay asks gently as she and Brian share a look; it appears that subject is a touchy one.

"There's nothing much to tell, I guess,” Daphne mumbles, appearing uncomfortable. “I think it was never meant to be. I don't know why I even…” She shakes her head. “Never mind; forget it,” she tells them brusquely.

"Mrs. Chanders… Daphne, please know you can talk to us about anything. That's why we're here. We only want to help you and Jennifer," Lindsay says, putting her hand on Daphne's arm. “It might help for us to know more about her background. Research has shown that a student’s family life – and their formative years of growing up – can have a profound impact on their academic performance.”

Daphne sighs before finally nodding. "Well… it's pretty stupid, actually. No, I was stupid,” she corrects herself. “It happened in our senior year of high school. I was stupid enough to ask this guy I had been friends with since third grade to… to …" Daphne stops mid-sentence and takes another deep breath as her two visitors stare at her silently, waiting for her to continue. "Well, it was a few weeks before our senior prom, and we were all kinda… looking to prove how grown up we were.” She scoffs at the notion now as her face warms in embarrassment. “I'm sure YOU know what I'm talking about, Mr. Kinney," she states as she peers over at Brian. He pulls his lips inward and tries to keep his composure as he nods. He could certainly relate to how that felt; he had experienced much the same thing when he had been in high school, even if it wasn't with the opposite sex. "Well, anyway, I guess there's no sense in glossing over what happened," Daphne continues. "About two months before our graduation, I asked him to be my first. I knew it would probably ruin our friendship, and I knew it would lead to massive weirdness between us, but I had no idea just how much it would impact my life.”

The day it happened, I knew my parents were supposed to be out for the day, and they didn’t plan on getting home until late.” She grimaces as she recalls, “my mom had grounded me a few days earlier, making me sit at home and read all of Tony Morrison's novels. But I managed to sneak out after they left to go get a bunch of condoms and this spermicide foam. It's not that I didn't trust him,” she hastily explains, “but… well, I wanted to be careful. After we had sex, I didn’t hear much from him afterwards. I guess it was my fault, though, because I developed this crush on him. All of a sudden I felt like we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I mean, it was all so overwhelming when it happened, and he had been so…patient with me.” She averts her eyes awkwardly, suddenly caught in a flood of emotion. “I know I made him feel very uncomfortable…and I had no one to blame but myself.”

She shook her head sadly. “He kept avoiding me in school afterwards, and hardly ever spoke to me until we drifted apart, even before the senior prom. Funny thing is, I never wound up going to the prom, because it was right around that time that I found out I was pregnant." Daphne takes a deep breath and lets it out. "That was pretty much the end of my college dreams when that happened. I was due to start pre-med at Penn State the following fall… but when my parents found out I was pregnant, they threw me out of the house, and I wound up having to live with my aunt in Illinois instead. I can't believe it was sixteen years ago," she concludes wistfully. She seems deflated, but somewhat relieved, as if she had been waiting for an opportunity to share her story. Yet her eyes were still lowered, almost obscured by her curly hair, and she seemed as though there was a huge burden on her slim shoulders.

"What made you decide to come back here, if you don't mind my asking?" Lindsay inquires quietly.

"I’ve always thought of Pittsburgh as my home, and I simply couldn't live with my aunt anymore. It turns out that one of my aunt's neighbors knew about this place for teenage moms, so I moved there. I don't even know how, but apparently my baby's daddy's mom found out about it and contacted the place. She wanted me to come stay with her and her family until the baby was born, but that didn't work out, because apparently this guy's parents got divorced shortly afterward. Maybe that's why I never saw him again. All I know is that a few days after my baby was born, the guy's mom passes away. Apparently she was sick for quite a while, but I had no idea. I decided to call my baby girl Jennifer after the guy's mom. I’m not sure why I felt that way…but I felt it was the right thing to do for some reason,” she explains in a somber voice. She had often thought about what she had done, and whether or not this man had deserved to know the truth. But what’s done was done, and she couldn’t go back and change it now if she could.

"And does your daughter know all about what happened?" Lindsay asks, her hand still on Daphne's arm in support.

Daphne sighs before explaining, “She’s a very smart girl, and I think she’s probably figured it out by now, but I’ve never really been too specific about it. Not sure why…but we’ve managed on our own…not that it’s been all that easy,” she added truthfully.

"And does this guy even knows he's got a daughter?" Brian asks quietly, feeling some sympathy for this unknown man. He knew if HE had been in that situation, he would have wanted to know.

Daphne averts her eyes temporarily, looking down at her lap before she reveals, "'No, he doesn't.” She lifts her gaze to explain, “He was with me that one night, and only did it because I was persistent. I didn’t think it was fair to saddle him with the responsibilities of being a father, just because of some condom not doing its job.” She shook her head ruefully. “I would have to be that one-in-a-million person who winds up pregnant the first time – even with the guy wearing protection. I’m a walking example of condoms not being 100% effective.” She pauses before adding, “But you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing about my getting pregant. My daughter means the world to me, and I can’t imagine not having her in my life.”

She peers over at Lindsay to add, “I guess you’re both wondering how I was able to afford to put my daughter in Baldwin.” The exclusive, private high school was quite expensive for anyone, especially someone like her who barely lived from paycheck-to-paycheck. “Even though I never told the father about Jennifer, I wonder if somehow he – or at least someone in his family – knows, or at least suspects.”

Brian frowns. “Why do you say that?”

She lets out a deep breath as she replies, “Because a member of his family is the one who’s paying for Jennifer’s tuition. I don’t know why they’re doing that…but I know I never would have been able to afford to send her to Baldwin if they weren’t footing the bill. But I admit it makes me feel guilty about him not knowing. I just can’t risk the guy rejecting our daughter, though, if he did find out. It would just be too much for her.”

"It's been quite a lot for you to handle, Daphne," Lindsay concurs sympathetically after a slight pause. She decides it’s not her place to judge her. "We just want the best for your daughter, just like you do.” She asks her quietly, “Is she here right now?"

Daphne shakes her head. “No. She can be hard to control at times,” she concedes. “I work until midnight at the diner, and then once I go to bed, she likes to sneak out. By the time I have to get up early for the morning shift, she’s back in her bed, but sound asleep. Often times, then, I don’t even know when she’s been out and come back, unless I happen to get up to go the restroom or get a drink of water, and notice her gone. But I don’t have the heart to wake her up when I leave…so oftentimes, we’re more like two roommates living in the same house, but never really getting the chance to talk to each other.” Tears come to her eyes as she tells her guests, “I have tried disciplining her by grounding her. And yes, I’ve talked to her about it, and how dangerous her behavior is, being out at night God knows where. But I just don’t know what to do. Nothing seems to work. She is SO smart, which can be an advantage as well as a disadvantage. I don’t want to see her fail in school. My God, that would be such a waste! She just doesn’t realize how important it is for her.”

"Do you have any idea where she's spending all her time when she's not in school?" Lindsay asks curiously. At this point her thoughts wonder off to her own teenage son, the one she raised with her now estranged spouse, Melanie Marcus, the school’s principal. Gus, their son – who Lindsay gave birth to seventeen years ago after using an anonymous sperm donor – is now mostly living with her, but goes to stay with Melanie every other weekend; unfortunately, things have not been going so smoothly with that arrangement lately. Lindsay knows she can't let her own personal feelings get in the way of this situation, but she finds that to be easier said than done. "I know it can't be easy…but you'll have to be very patient with her, Daphne,” she counsels the younger woman. She smiles. “Having a teenager myself, I know how trying they can be. But I can promise you that we'll do everything we can to help,” she tells her as Brian nods in agreement before rising to stand up.

"We'll be in touch,” Brian tells her as Lindsay and Daphne also rise from their seats. “And please don’t hesitate to call us if you need anything in the meantime, or if you have any concerns.”

“We’ll be working on a plan of action for your daughter; don’t worry,” Lindsay tells Daphne, who nods gratefully.

“Thank you,” she replies in a choked voice. Brian and Lindsay nod at her with a smile before they head for the door, letting themselves out.

"Talk about taking work home," Brian says as they walk back to the curb. “That young woman has a lot on her plate.” He smiles over at his friend. “I guess I don’t have to tell you that our job responsibilities don’t stop the minute the dismissal bell rings, though.”

Lindsay shakes her head. “No. But at least you've got someone waiting for you at home,” she wistfully reminds Brian, feeling just a bit envious of her friend.

Brian nods his head, his thoughts centered on his beautiful partner. “Yes, I do…and I realize just how lucky I am.” He half-smiles at her as she nods back at him before starting the car and pulling out from the curb.

TBC...