I cannot Forget

[guavejuice]

Banner:Viv foreverbm

Icon: Carmen galehot

Author:guavejuice
Pairing:Brian/Justin
Timeline: 3 to 6 months post 513
Beta:mander3_swish thank you so much, darling!
A/N: part 5/7
Part of this chapter is based on a drabble I wrote for drabylon prompt #183 @ drabylon.
Disclaimer:I own nothing.
Comments are most welcome.


Chapter 5
Brian's pov

The weather sucked over the next weekend, so I couldn't fly out to see him. The weather reports all said it wouldn’t be wise to drive either.

I tried to ease the pain with a few shots of JB and a joint. I found out why I always hated self pity.

I gave up trying to jerk off to Justin's voice on the answering machine just as someone knocked on the door.

He never knocked, he had a key. So it couldn't be him. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I couldn't get anything up. I let go of my soft dick and opened the door.

Debbie stood there with a large dish in her hands. She obviously noticed the mess in the loft.

"Thank you for not saying anything," I said before she could open her mouth, and then I offered her my joint.

"It must be hard for you," she said after a while.

"You have no idea," I whispered. I didn't think it would be wise to tell her I'm not even close. All that self pity was actually making me soft.

I hated phone sex and jerking off, alone, in the shower afterwards. But it was more than that. I missed him. I missed his remarks, his insights, and his touch. His being.

"It's a great thing you did, kiddo," she told me, "letting Justin go to New York to follow his dream." She keeps telling me that. Lindsay also told me that, but then she left, too, with my son.

Long distance relationships suck. I didn’t want to be brave. I didn’t want to sacrifice anymore. I wanted him to do well, but I wanted him here. There, I said it.

I wanted him now.

I was afraid that if I didn’t say it now I would regret it later.

TBC

Comments

[britinkinlor.livejournal.com]

Brian's missing his blond bad! Lovely V. Hugs you xx

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, sweetie. It means a lot to me.
*hugs you back*
V.

[galehot.livejournal.com]

I really love when Brian said what he thinks, not necessary out loud but he tell to himself. I think be apart from Justin is a very hard situation for him because he always was alone, until the blond. And now, he misses him a lot.

Better say things.
Thanks.

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your lovely feedback, Carmen. YUup, I think Brian definitely realized that it's good top talk *sigh*
So glad you liked it.
huge hugs
V.

[aaa-mazing.livejournal.com]

Deb can always smell a good joint:) And is always there at the most tough moments.
Thanks, hon!

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Got to love Debb, right? ;)
You're welcome, sweetie. thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
love ya
V.

[pam81.livejournal.com]

Yeah! You finally said it Brian!
Don't live with that regret. Go and tell him how you feel, what you think, what you want.

Sad and painful, but beautiful ♥ Thanks V!
Hugs

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for such a beautiful feedback, Sweetie.
Brian needed that, I think *sigh*
hugs you back
V.

[7wildwaysup.livejournal.com]

Well at least he's in a place where he can admit that he wants Justin to come home... Even if he won't act upon it...

Later Darling ~ Kathleen

[guavejuice.livejournal.com]

So very true *sigh*
Thank you so much for your comment, darling
hugs
V.